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Over the last two
days, we've revealed the not-so-sordid secrets of many Yahoo!s by letting them publicly confess some of the things
they're proud to have never done. We conclude those revelations today with a
grab-bag of confessions that didn't fit into any other categories (or that
came in late -- you know who you are ...). They mostly (and unsurprisingly)
deal with pop culture, but there are one or two surprises to be found.
Emily: I've
never read any of the Harry Potter books,
nor seen any of the movies, and I don’t plan on changing that anytime soon. I’m just
obstinate, and the fan fic/slash kind of creeps me out.
Heather: Somehow,
despite all the random piercings and multi-colored dye-jobs my friends got as teenagers, I managed to make it through
my youth without so much as having a needle held to my ear, or a bottle of
hydrogen peroxide tingling on my scalp.
Richard: I’ve
never seen a movie in which Melanie Griffith could act as a convincing human being. Never.
Mitzi: I've
never seen Eraserhead. I refuse to watch Dancing with the Stars (I don’t care how popular it is!). I've never seen Citizen Kane. (I’ve rented it a few times, but never got around
to seeing it). I've never read 1984. (I know!) And I've never seen the Oprah show (not even when I’m at home sick with the flu
or something).
Adrianna: My bike was stolen before the training wheels were taken off, so
I never learned how to ride a bike! I have tried as an adult, but every time
I get on, the wobbly feeling makes me hop right off.
Jasmin: I’ve
never been to a frat party. I attended a JC before transferring to a private women’s college.
No boys equals no frat parties.
Mike: I’ve
surely donned some trendy fashions in my day (pegged pants, flat top, MULLET!),
but I never thought those wannabe-a-Spaceman
sunglasses from Oakley were cool, and I
certainly never owned a pair.
And to end this festival of soul-bearing, we present this following rant:
Brian: I’ve
never created a MySpace
or Facebook
profile -- and never intend to. I've purposely stayed away from MySpace not
because it's "addicting" (according to some people), but
because I just don't have time -- or the need -- to look at a page that could
give one a seizure. (MySpace users are the biggest offenders in this regard.)
What makes MySpace intolerable is the plethora of choices one can pick from
to create a page. It's like when a 5-year-old wants to cook something for the
first time for his or her parents. What does the kid do? They grab every
ingredient that looks appealing and dump it all into one bowl, which makes
for the most inedible steaming pile of crap one could imagine. That’s what
MySpace pages are: "Let's add an obnoxious background, and sprinkle it
with some bright fonts which make reading the page impossible! And for good
measure, let's add a music video and an audio clip to the mix so that the
connection speed is like a 14.4 K modem!" Can you say "Geocities
page, circa 1997?" Considering most people on MySpace are teens
and have the most time to kill, it's understandable they dominate the
population of the site. However, I remember when I was in high school,
I kept in touch with my friends the old-fashioned way ... IN PERSON. I guess
face-to-face contact can't compete nowadays with a quick message and an
amusing photo pasted in a comment field of some random guy getting hit in the
nuts, can it?
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