We note with horror that ABBAWORLD
is opening in London today. Described by its over-excitable backers (who apparently never met a
capital letter they didn't like) as a "unique touring exhibition filled with music, original costumes, history, images, instruments and never-before-displayed
memorabilia from ABBA's recording and performing heyday" that will
"bring fans closer than ever before to the band by using state of the
art technology." Ooh. Hold us back.
Too thrifty to hire guides for this museum of mediocrity, the proprietors
have somehow persuaded Swedish actor Stellan Skarsgård
to provide an audio tour that will guide fans through the band's decade-long
reign of terror. Besides memorabilia (the helicopter from one of their album covers! A re-creation of a recording studio that closed in 2004!) the exhibit will offer fanatics the
chance to actually sing along with a holographic
reproduction of the quartet. Just imagine: Avatar crossed with karaoke!
Why, it's enough to make even the most jaded cynic chortle in snarky glee.
Of course, we mustn't put all the blame on these entrepreneurs; after all, as
H.L. Mencken almost said, "No one ever went broke underestimating the taste
of the public." There's plenty of blame to go around -- beginning with Björn Ulvaeus
and Benny Andersson, whose ability to create catchy hooks and inane lyrics
proved irresistible to millions (much like the flu epidemic of 1918, but we digress...).
In 1974, ABBA entered and won the "prestigious" Eurovision contest (which has, of course, given us such musical giants as Vicky Leandros, Bucks Fizz, and -- perhaps worst of all -- Celine Dion). Their victory proved commercially successful, as they
sold hundreds of millions of copies of their eight albums
to unsuspecting consumers around the world, and inspired an inexplicably long-running musical that ripped off a British movie comedy of the '60s while assaulting audiences with their tunes.
The stage show was turned into a movie in 2008 that gave audiences the chance
to hear Pierce Brosnan join such movie greats as Peter O'Toole
and Clint Eastwood in the "what the hell were they thinking by doing a
musical?" department. On the other hand, those ABBA songs would be tough to
ruin. (Take that as you will....)
In spite of their musical blandness, ABBA is due to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this year. Of course, Randy Newman, Tom Waits, Captain Beefheart, and The Cure aren't in the Hall yet, but hey, no one ever said life
was fair. But, as long as there's not a "Kenny G Experience!" museum or a "Michael Bolton-o-Rama" (yet) we should consider ourselves lucky
that, so far, there's only ABBAWORLD.
So far.
Suggested Sites...
|
No comments:
Post a Comment