Tin Can Tourists - June 30, 2009

Recreational vehicles have come a long way since Americans started using them to tour the country in 1915. "Tin Can Tourists" were (and are still) blessed with curiosity and a sense of adventure, but didn't necessarily want to give up the amenities of home -- and thus was born the RV. After World War II, such companies as Airstream and Winnebago sprang up, dedicated to giving motor tourists comfort in a surprisingly compact form. Even Hollywood got into the act, as Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz attempted to drive across the U.S. in their movie, The Long, Long Trailer (a feat emulated 32 years later by Albert Brooks and Julie Hagerty in Lost in America). And just what do these road warriors want to see? Well, they might start in Collinsville, IL, just to get a peek at the World's Largest Catsup Bottle, then it's east to Flanders, NY, where the "Big Duck" holds court. After that, it's northwest to Ironwood, MI, home of Hiawatha, "The World's Tallest and Largest Indian." Finally, it's all the way west to Livermore, CA, and the World's Oldest Working Lightbulb (burning continuously since 1901!) -- or any number of other unique destinations. The price of gas may be high, but so is their enthusiasm. Suggested Sites... Go RVing - recreational vehicle news, events, tips and tricks, FAQs, and more. Roadside America - you're out on the road; here's what to see. Roadside Architecture - keep your eyes peeled for one-of-a-kind buildings, restaurants, and giant... things. Gas Buddy - get your motor runnin' and head out on the highway -- but first know where to find the cheapest gas. RV Share - can't afford to buy an RV, trailer, or camper? Rent one.

All Cases of the Sort Are Decided by the Judges of the Supreme Court - June 28, 2010

With Elena Kagan's nomination to the U.S. Supreme Court being considered by the Congress this week, we have to wonder where she'll fall in the pantheon of Justices (assuming she's confirmed, of course …) Will she be remembered for serving admirably on America's highest court, or will she be a mere footnote in the history books? Almost every President gets to make nominations to the high court (only three of forty-four haven't -- Zachary Taylor and Jimmy Carter never had the chance, nor did William Henry Harrison (though considering Harrison died after only a month in office, we can forgive him ...) -- some have made more nominations than others. George Washington holds the record with 11 (though, of course, he had to fill all the slots once the Court was created). Second is Franklin D. Roosevelt, who appointed nine justices (and might have named even more if his controversial plan to "pack the court" had succeeded). William Howard Taft holds a unique position, in that not only did he appoint five justices while serving as President, but he was himself named Chief Justice by Warren Harding -- becoming the only man to hold both positions. Of course, once on the court, some justices exhibit peccadilloes that could not have been predicted in the confirmation process: Justice John Harlan held weekly screenings of porno movies in the Court's basement, in order to better help his fellow justices determine just what pornography was (despite Justice Potter Stewart's declaration that "I know it when I see it"). Unfortunately for Harlan, as his eyesight began to fail, he had to rely on Justice William O. Douglas to narrate the movies and describe the on-screen action. Justice Harry Blackmun authored many opinions (some more controversial than others), but apparently, his favorite topic of conversation came every March 8th, when he would mark the anniversary of his appendectomy. Justice Clarence Thomas's nomination was one of the most contentious in history, but since his approval is one the most silent of the current justices, almost never asking any questions or making statements during arguments. Justice Thurgood Marshall demanded that all sessions be adjourned by 1:00, so that he would be free to watch his soaps (though whether he was watching All My Children or Days of Our Lives is a point of contention). In the last few decades, some candidates have sailed through the process with little controversy, while others haven't fared as well: In 1968, Lyndon Johnson nominated Justice Abe Fortas to become Chief Justice (after using his considerable political skills to persuade Arthur Goldberg to step down from the bench to become his ambassador to the United Nations, but Fortas's nomination was filibustered and withdrawn. In 1970, G. Harrold Carswell was dismissed as not being distinguished enough for the Court. In defense of Carswell, Senator Roman Hruska of Nebraska asked, "Even if he is mediocre, there are a lot of mediocre judges and people and lawyers. They are entitled to a little representation, aren't they?" The most controversial nominee in recent years was Judge Robert Bork, whose name has had the dubious distinction of becoming a verb. Following the judge's unsuccessful nomination in 1987, "to Bork" came to mean "to seek to obstruct a political appointment or selection." Whether Solicitor General Kagan becomes a justice or a figure of speech, only history -- and the Senate -- can say. Suggested Sites... Supreme Court of the United States - "We have powers that are positively regal, only we can take a law and make it legal." United States Senate Committee on the Judiciary - information on senators, rules, and hearings. Supreme Court Firsts and Other Trivia - amaze your friends! SCOTUS Blog - coverage of the Supreme Court of the United States. Wikipedia: Elena Kagan - biography of the nominee.

A Tale of Two Captains - June 27, 2008

Kids in the '50s didn't realize what a Golden Age they were living in -- especially when it came to television programs. Once post-war parents realized they could use the boob tube as a babysitter, local television stations, desperate for programming, were more than happy to shanghai announcers and other station personnel, dress them as sailors, cops, sheriffs, and less-authoritative figures, and entertain the kiddies with cartoons and other features for hours on end.

What sparks this observation today is that June 27 marks another of those cosmic coincidences of which we're so fond. On this date in 1927, Bob Keeshan was born, and in 1949, Captain Video and His Video Rangers made its debut on the DuMont Television Network.

Keeshan is best known as his televised persona, Captain Kangaroo, the avuncular custodian of the Treasure House, whose regular visitors included Mr. Green Jeans, Mr. Moose, and Dancing Bear. Unlike most of the other kiddie-show hosts, Keeshan tried to use his show as a vehicle for education and entertainment, rather than just as a time-killer or a medium to sell toys.

Captain Video, on the other hand, was dedicated to distracting kids with thrilling interplanetary adventures that took place on cardboard sets with rudimentary special effects. Not to minimize the tribulations the good Captain had to endure, but depending on such actors as Arnold Stang, Tony Randall, and Jack Klugman to provide villainy might have been too much suspension of disbelief, even for children.

As adults, we'll always have fond memories of such worthies as Engineer Bill, Sheriff John, Officer Joe Bolton, Jimmy Weldon and Webster Webfoot, and the numberless Bozo the Clowns who once beamed into our homes, providing us with hours of friendship and fun.

Suggested Sites...

Chicago Children's Television - remembrances of Windy City hosts and shows. New York City Children's Shows - the best of the Big Apple. Radio Discussions: Children's Show Hosts - reminiscences from all over the U.S. TV Party: Los Angeles Local Kid Shows - clowns, hobos, and a Frankenstein puppet. Marty's Corner: Tom Hatten - veteran kids' show host Tom Hatten reminisces.

Mr. Lincoln and the Pirates of the Tiki Room - June 23, 2009

Anyone who's been to Disneyland or Walt Disney World over the past 45 years has probably suffered through the Enchanted Tiki Room, "Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln," or (worst of all) "It’s a Small World." All of these "attractions” feature Disney’s patented and trademarked "Audio-Animatronic" technology. These Animatronics work through an ingenious combination of air pressure, water pressure, electronics, and computers that tell these plastic- and fabric-covered robotic puppets to move through a series of pre-programmed movements with all the realism and agility of an arthritic turtle. While some may find these doppelgängers grotesque, it is reported that many more are delighted by them and their antics. So, in that light, we note that, on June 23, 1963, the Tiki Room opened for business in Disneyland's Adventureland. The gimmick is simple: unwitting suckers -- er, "guests" -- desperate for anyplace to sit after hours of waiting in line in ungodly heat, wander dazedly into the Tiki Room after hearing the ballyhoo from José Carioca, the ever-chattering pitch-parrot who looms outside the hut. (Why a Brazilian parrot should be shilling for a Hawaiian-themed room is a mystery, but it ultimately makes as much sense as the Mexican, Irish, French, and German parrots who host the show inside.) Once seated, the guests are subjected to a spectacle consisting of scores of birds and tikis singing various ditties, the most notorious of which is the anthemic "In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room." After a suitable period, the bombarded guests are gratefully released back into the "real" world. There's something about these attractions that brings out the annoying in the Disney Imagineers and composers. "Pirates of the Caribbean" has its marauding buccaneers sing a catchy chantey -- most of which is unintelligible except for its repeated lines of "Yo ho! Yo ho! A pirate’s life for me!" and "Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!" And the less said about the endlessly-rendered title song of "It’s a Small World," the better (try getting that one out of your head, now that we've mentioned it). We must admit, though, we were actually fond of the Carousel of Progress’s "There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow" -- which may be one of the reasons the attraction was closed at the original Magic Kingdom in 1973 (though it survives at Walt Disney World). In recent years, the technology has improved. The original version of the Tiki Room featured a behind-the-scenes array of computers that filled an entire room, with vast machines that hummed, clicked, and whirred (one assumes that a single well-equipped laptop could take the place of all those machines nowadays). "Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln" has gone through many iterations at Disneyland, and has been supplanted at Walt Disney World with the "Hall of Presidents," which allows Americans to see plastic robots that grotesquely impersonate the U.S.'s past and present chief executives -- and even to hear Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama provide their own voices! Given Disney's genius for combining earworms and Animatronics makes us grateful that they didn't apply it to the Presidents. The prospect of hearing Mr. Lincoln serenading Jefferson Davis with a tune called something like "Keep a Civil Tongue in Your Head" is tempting, but too much to bear. Suggested Sites... Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room - official site, with information, images -- and that song. DaveLandWeb: Enchanted Tiki Room - obsessively complete photo gallery of every aspect of the attraction. Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln - watch the 16th president in plastic zombie form! Dead Men Tell No Tales - fan site for the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. (Maybe they can decipher the lyrics . How Animatronics Works - Step 1: Build a rubber puppet...