Saturday, March 20, 2021

"Rock" of Ages - March 20, 2008

It's hard ta believe it's 45 years since dey closed Da Rock, but it's true. From 1934 until March 21, 1963, Alcatraz was da toughest prison in da country, and believe me, you didn't wanna get sent there. Anybody who wuz too tough for da udder graybar hotels got sent out west, where dey learned pretty quick dat da guards wuz tougher den dey wuz -- an' if dey tried ta pull anyt'ing, dey'd get t'rown into da Strip Cell, where dey had to sit naked in da dark on cold concrete until dey cooled off.

A lotta people t'ought dat Da Rock was da
cruelest prison in the system, too; it's only about a mile from San Francisco, and we could always hear da civilians havin' fun and carryin' on (New Year's Eve was da woist). Not dat da guys who wuz here wuzn't nice; Machine Gun Kelly wuz a prince, an' Scarface Al wuz always good for a laugh -- o' course, he was nuts. (Don't get me started on dat Stroud guy, dough; he liked boids, but he hated people.)

As bad as it was den, dough, Alcatraz is a good place ta visit now; youse get a nice
boat trip an' a view o' da city ya can't beat, an' a lotta da time, us former inmates is dere to tell ya whut life on De Rock wuz really like. Just don't get caught alone after dark -- some people say da joint's haunted by guys doin' more den a life sentence.

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