If
I’ve learned anything while writing this blog, these three stand out.
- I get easily distracted and don't always stick to the (apparent) point.
- I don't always have a topic about which to write.
- I'm just slightly long-winded.
The
first is inevitable. As my good friend Mike McIntee says of his blog, “The Wahoo Gazette: where the first draft is the only draft.” (By the way, you’re
welcome for the link, Mike). You may have noticed this is all pretty free-form
and off the top of my head, so I tend to free-associate, which will lead, of
necessity, to tangents, blind alleys, and woolgathering.
Mike McIntee. You'd never guess he'd been a cop.
The
second is problematic. While I had a goal of 100 words a day, no matter how
inconsequential, there are plenty of days when I don’t have 100 words of
material. I mean, I could give you a detailed description of what we did at
rehearsal, but I prefer to keep that in the room. (“The Farnsworth Invention”
at Palo Alto Players, June 12-29. Tickets available here.) I could tell you
what I did at work, but well … And as much as my long-suffering wife loves my
traffic stories, I realize they have limited appeal.
Coming soon to a theatre near you -- especially if you live in Palo Alto.
I
mean, outside of rehearsal – which was actually pretty good – the most exciting
thing that happened to me today was my going to three – count ‘em, three –
supermarkets in search of Gardein Beefless Sliders. I’m not strictly a fan of
the meatless burgers, but I got a hankerin’ for them on the way home, and went
on a quest. (Surprisingly to me, the Safeway in Palo Alto has a severely limited
selection of frozen vegetarian options.) (See what I mean about the lack of
thrills?) But, seriously, try these; they’re really tasty and four of them are
only 600 calories.
Delicious and nutritious.
So,
it’s the third option I’m dealing with tonight. As part of a job I’m in the
process of applying for, they want me to tell them a story. I could use
something I’ve written before, but given that my output of fiction is, shall we
say, “limited” (as in non-existent), I’ve had to devise something on the fly. I
could give them a play I’ve written, but that would exceed the limit they’ve
given me of 500 words.
500
words? Hell, as I did, what?, 700+ on getting a haircut? How am I supposed to
devise a plot with a setup, a middle, and a denouement in 500 friggin’ words?
And,
yet, somehow I did. In fact, I came in at 499.
Now,
I’m not saying it’s the best thing I’ve ever written. It did give me a chance
to revisit my old friend Harry Houdini, the hard-boiled escapologist and
ghost-breaker, and did let me end with a dumb punchline. To tell the truth, I
was actually pretty proud of how I got to the punchline. I started out by
thinking “what the hell am I going to write about?” I then though, “Ooh! I
could (500 words right there! And I’m barely getting started. See?) excerpt
something from the Houdini Plays, but it’s not really ‘fiction,’ is it? So, why
not write a new Houdini story? But what about?”
I
decided to look around the room and write about the first thing that hits my
eye. I saw the poster for a show I’d done a while back, and set the challenge
for myself. I soon arrived at the aforementioned dumb punchline, and the rest
was a marvel of editing. I lost some of the nuance and characterization for
which I renowned, but jeez, it’s not like a story about Houdini and polter-donuts
is going to be Tolstoi-like in its subtle examination of the human condition,
is it?
Slightly more than 500 words.
Depending
on how it’s received, I may or may not post it here – or course, if I do, I can
damn well guarantee I’m going to pad it out to a proper length and give it the
breathing room it so richly deserves. I realize that no one here has even read
the Houdini Plays, let alone seen them (I don’t even know if my long-suffering
wife has read them), so it’ll be your first introduction to my version of
Harry.
More
to come …
No comments:
Post a Comment